Lee Barron's Parallel Universe
It’s Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeelection Time, A.k.a. The Man Who Sold the Turd


Hey, it’s election time again for the President of the USA. Un-fortunately, we got a Busher in the ‘jobber’. Not the first time we had a dummy for prez. Garfield was a prick too, apparently, and nobody’s saying anything about him getting iced at a train station. Hows about Hoover? Or Washington. What the?! Guy had slaves. That stuff's off the chain ‘freestyle,’ yo!

• The Voting – the Where and the Wise
I can’t remember what to do when the voting process begins because no one, and I mean no one, wants a jury dootie summons. It might as well be the INS making everybody report for immigrating to the continent 300 years ago. ‘Olde’ USA was what they actually called it and Shell-o!!.... most of those guys are dead(!)

• Rock the Vote
I can’t remember what rock the vote was anyways. And it wouldn’t be fair for us to pay for it. Look what happened to the Swedes! There was some druggie dude from big-hair-shitty-metal and make-up coke days. That’s all I remember.

• Bush is a Bad Boy – like it is, like it is…
Bush is a dumb rich dude, but I bet it’s always been the rich dude running the shizo since the beginning of the first chieftain. I know for a fact that there is probably life in the universe. Out there. And that it is probably on planets. But they are probably getting the shaft too. "Beam it in, Scotty." Get it?

• It’s All Because Prescott Bush had Sex with his Wife and Then the Sperm Took.
I don’t want to blame a dumb rich guy-- it’s really not his fault. He seems nice and blank and uncomfortable, like the dumb kid in skool who is trying to be the 'funny' kid. But he just fucking fails all the time. In my friend’s case, it was just because he liked a girl.

• Hello, Reagan! We hardly knew you. Like you didn’t. As well.
Reagan never really did show up for the job, but he didn’t sound as stupid. He didn’t even start out rich. He made the Hollywould cult of personality work for him. He was just the first wax dummy that they got to work. Cool.

• Nixon was a Free Spirit
(see Alan Parsons Project)

• Teddy Roosevelt was like the Guy from "Predator"

• Woodrow Wilson was on the Munsters

• Two Triplets in the Bush Equal Trouble
Daddy George was the CIA/Trilateral Commission ‘Dude’ and angrier than his ‘Danny dimwit’ progeny - George Jr. He was pissed off. That’s all…The man. Was. Just. P. O.’d!! cause he and Bin-Laden used to fish together.

• And What About the White-haired Wrestler?
And that goes for the fat cross-dresser too. Now that big guy was like the Skipper (from the Gilligan show.) ‘He’ was calling the shots, you can tell on that one. But the Gilligan show, although funny, is kind of tough for me to watch because it makes me heavy in the tummy. I mean, get out of Catalina! It’s not that far!?! Duhhh? Man! And I think the actors got jacked in that show.

• My Point
My point is not only to exercise the vote privilege. But just exercise. You just got to go to see what happens. Do a little thigh chee.

• Money Works
When you win you have to have enough cash to buy the job. The Gore didn’t get it; he had a lisp too. People hate that more than my bad grammar and Bush’s dumb talk. He’s like just doing what he’s told. He doesn’t know about God. Maybe he wants to see a “Apo-collapse” so it’ll be all Biblical and Jesus comes back so he’s just setting it up for Jesus. Maybe that’s what he’s thinking. Maybe those other big shots think that they will be able to bribe Jesus. I bet their egos are so big even, for THAT.

• Somebody is Going to be President.
Somebody is going to be president. It’s election year!! Watch yer ass!!!