jackie moses

Thank you, thank you... Just rode in from Sumeria and boy, is my ox tired. Thank you...

OK, how many of you are married? I'm married. Just celebrated my 187th wedding anniversary. Only kidding... it just feels that way.

Hey, I love my wife Sara... you gotta love a woman to put up with 40 years of "If you asked for directions, big shot, we wouldn't be wandering this desert!"

But my wife's a beautiful woman. A big beautiful woman. She's so big, when she takes a bath, the Red Sea parts. She's so big, when she stood on Mt. Ararat, there was an eclipse.

Speaking of marriage, did you hear Adam and Eve's boy is getting a divorce? It turns out Cain wasn't Abel.

Hey, what are you, an audience or a pillar of salt?

Tough crowd.........

But you want tough? I was in Gomorrah last week. They were so tough, the idols worshipped them. They were so tough, Egypt considers them the 11th plague.

Before I get out of here, I'd like to do a couple of impressions. Here's King Solomon in a restaurant with his in-laws: "OK, it's settled. We're splitting the check down the middle!" Thank you, and now my final impression, The Burning Bush. This demands total silence... and you've accommodated me so far! "Is it HOT out here, or is it just me?"

G'night everybody, and hey, don't forget--life is like a Bedouin harem... you never know who you're gonna begat!