Original Synergy
The scene is the boardroom of a big advertising agency. If you can't imagine
one, go read Man in the Grey Flannel Suit, then come back and enjoy. Plus,
you make up the tune up yourself. See, it's interactive! Very "now."
-Ed.
GENTLEMEN, THE PROBLEM THAT WE'VE HAD
IS A MARKETING DILEMMA FOR US ALL
THERE'S ALMOST NO WHERE NEW WHERE WE CAN PLACE ANOTHER AD
THEY COVER EVERY FLOOR, EVERY CEILING, EVERY WALL
WE NEED NEW SPACES WHERE WE CAN ENCROACH
SO OUR MESSAGES ARE EVERYWHERE ONE COULD LOOK
I BELIEVE I'VE FOUND AN INTERESTING APPROACH
WE'LL NOW DO PRODUCT PLACEMENT IN THE GOOD BOOK!
EVERY COMPANY IS GOING TO WANT TO BUY IN
ONCE THEY'VE BEEN APPRISED OF ALL THE FACTS
THEIR PRODUCTS ALL WILL HAVE A NATURAL TIE-IN
WITH THE PENTATEUCH, THE GOSPELS OR THE ACTS
ALL THE FAITHFUL WILL BE OURS, THERE'S NO DENYIN'
WITH THEIR HEROES PITCHING EVERYTHING WE SELL
JOHN THE BAPTIST? HE WEARS SPEEDOS
THE LAST SUPPER? COKE AND FRITOS
JOE AND MARY FIND A ROOM AT THE SHERATON HOTEL...
IT'S ORIGINAL SYNERGY, THE ULTIMATE PROMOTION
IN THE BIBLE WE'LL MOVE EVERYTHING
FROM CARS TO SUNTAN LOTION
A SAINT OR APOSTLE IN EACH PRODUCT SHOT
THEY'RE PUBLIC DOMAIN SO IT WON'T COST A LOT
THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN DOESN'T CHARGE A ROYALTY
IT'S A HELL OF CONCEPT--ORIGINAL SYNERGY
WE'LL SHOW PHAROAH SPRAYING RAID
ON THE LOCUSTS PLAGUING HIM
JOB WILL FINALLY HAVE IT MADE
IN THE SAUNA AT HIS BALLY GYM
GALLO WINE APPEARS FROM WATER
AND WE'LL BOOST MCDONALD'S SALES BY HALF
'CAUSE FOR THAT PRODIGAL SON THEY'RE GONNA SLAUGHTER
THE DELICIOUS JUICY NEW MCFATTED CALF
IT'S ORIGINAL SYNERGY, WE'LL HAVE EVERYONE ON BOARD
BECAUSE WE COULDN'T GET A BETTER SPOKESMAN THAN THE LORD
AND WHEN THEY FIND AT GETHSEMANE THAT JESUS HAS GONE
WE'LL HAVE HIM SAY "I'D RATHER STAY AT FOREST LAWN!"
THE DEVOUT ARE ABOUT TO GO ON A BUYING SPREE
EVERY PIOUS PIGEON'LL FALL FOR ORIGINAL SYNERGY
AND THE LORD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT...BUD LIGHT!
Artwork by Dante Garza and the Great Masters
