Alien & Me

lee barron Tom once believed in himself. Now, all that would change.

All he ever wanted was the Callista wire bendy action figure that went with his Matt Sgt. Astronaut action play set. Feeling the sudden loss of his dog to ball cancer made him long for the days when his dog would watch him play with his Matt Sgt. Astronaut action play set. The only thing that was missing was Callista. Callista was the evil wire bendy action plaything alien who had a gun that fired thread at Matt Sgt. In Tom's mind, Callista was just an evil scientist who hated girls and helped Matt Sgt. But Callista was lost at a baseball game that Tom went to with his Dad when his Dad accidentally threw Callista at the umpire after a bad call.

Now that Tom was all grown up he finally had the wherewithal to find and replace Callista. He often played with these toys because he was alone a lot and most women found him to be a nerd.

The internet. It occurred one day to Tom that he might find Callista on the internet. He might find it on one of the popular buy and sell auction sites. So find he did and away he did bid. He bid. Huh, somebody else bid higher. He bid again. He got outbid. He bid the hell out of it and finally did win, though. But it cost him. To the tune of 400 bones.

It didn't matter to Tom though. His dog was dead. And as long as his dog Skipme was dead he would have his Callista. Screw anybody in the ear who thought that it was at all stupid to pay for an semi-clear green action figure whose wire bendy arms were in "semi-played with condition" and whose booties had some paint chipped off. Fuck them because they will never know what it's like to have their dog die and then have no action figure to take care of. To complete him.

After finishing the transaction he awaited the delivery of the vaunted Callista. He waited and waited. And waited. Until finally, it didn't come. He got the contact info and called the seller. The seller said he would come by and personally deliver the action figure himself. How exciting!

The next day the alien would come. Tom put out a banner on his apartment door that read "Welcome to Earth, Callista!" in green day-glo colored magic marker.

Far too excited, Tom took the magic marker and drew a landing strip on his carpet so Callista would recognize "home base."

Frightened at first, the seller Radcliffe wanted to stay as far away from the apartment as he could. He could see the sign from the street so he decided to just throw Callista at the apartment. So Callista flew through Tom's window shattering it and landing on Tom's head. Petrified, Tom knocked the action figure off his head. He looked down, realized what it was and rushed for the door. He saw no one but knew he had received Callista from the seller.

"I mean, what were the odds of Callista just flying though my window? Pretty slim," Tom thought. Jubilant, Tom played with Callista for hours, took baths together and even went to baseball games together where Tom pretended to throw him at the umpire just as "a little joke."

The End